Condiments (Sans X Reader)
by Oreotaku-Kun
Summary: Its a beautiful day outside, birds are singing, flowers are blooming... on days like these... kids like you... are making puns about condiments. 0-0 So sorry boys, but this is a Sans X Fem!Reader story! ;P Requests are open though! Enjoy ! [ONESHOT] *ORIGINALLY WRITTEN BY ME ON QUOTEV* [RATED T FOR LANGUAGE]
**Oreo:** **Hello lovely people~ Its yo homie Oreo with chuuuu~! So I'm so sorry that I have been SOOOOO inactive recently, I just got really caught up with school. Although, school is almost over which means SUMMER! And summer means... MORE FICS! So be prepared for a lot of fics from me! I'm super excited about bringing you this Sans fic! Just a little thing before summer! If you don't follow me, I would really appreciate if you did, it will only take a sec, but if you don't want to, I understand. Alright, enough outta me! LETS GET STARTED!**

 **A/N: ORIGINALLY POSTED ON QUOTEV. THIS IS 100% MY WORK AND MY STORY. MY IDEAS AND WRITING. I DO NOT, HOWEVER, OWN UNDERTALE OR YOU. UNDERTALE BELONGS TO TOBY FOX AND YOU BELONG TO YOU AND MAYBE SANS.**

* * *

You sat up out of the couch and looked around your surroundings. You shivered slightly. God- you hated Snowdin. Sure, pretty town, nice people, alright. But damn, was it cold as shit! You instantly recognized where you were. The only reason why you endured the frigid temperatures of Snowdin. Yes, for the skelebros, Papyrus and Sans. Lazily, you got up and found your change of clothes that you placed in a backpack and you wandered upstairs for a place to change. You knew that the skelebros were both still asleep, or Papyrus went to work, so you sighed and stayed in your shorts and pulled a (F/C) hoodie over your t-shirt. You stretched and found your way back downstairs, although you didn't notice that a certain punny skeleton was in the kitchen. You peered inside and there he was, eating chips with ketchup. _Odd_ you thought to yourself.

"You just gonna stand there kiddo," Sans asked. "Don't be shy, come in." "Morning," you replied casually shuffling into the kitchen. "Where's Papyrus?" "Work," he said pulling out a chip and dipping it into the ketchup. You eyeballed the potato hungrily. "You hungry," he asked you. "I dunno," you shyly replied.

Its not that your necessarily shy, especially around Sans, its just that you didn't want to be rude about food. Usually, Papyrus would wake up, make spaghetti and then force you to eat it. Not that you don't like his spaghetti, in fact- it was pretty good, its just that since he insists on you eating it, you usually do without feeling guilty.

"Well," Sans began. "If you feel like eating, go ahead." You nodded and smiled. "Thanks, Sans."

For awhile the room consisted of awkward silence and the occasional sound of munching potato chips. You pondered this for a moment. First off, why do they only eat spaghetti and potato chips, like, what's up with that? Second, why do they even eat? Their SKELETONS! Where does this food go?! Third, why does Sans eat everything with ketchup? Like, dang! Thats weird! You just kinda stared at him as he ate the chips with the said condiment. Eventually, you didn't notice, but as you continued to analyze the skeleton, your gazing quickly turned into a glare.

"Something wrong ki-" Sans began, but only to have you cut him off. "YES," you blurted. "WHY THE HELL DO YOU EAT EVERYTHING WITH KETCHUP? WHY? WHY, WHY, WHY, WHY? YOUR A SKELETON! ITS LITERALLY TOMATOES AND LIKE... SUGAR!" You covered your mouth with your hand and blushed with embarrassment. "Sorry," you mumbled, your hand still partly covering your mouth. "Its just kinda been... ah... on my mind for awhile."

You were expecting something like, _Kid, you wanna have a bad time?_ You awaited your fate when suddenly... you heard laughing.

"S-Sans," you asked. He continued to snicker. "Wow (Y/N)," he said. "Funny, is it not common for humans to use condiments?" "Well," you started. "It is common, but-" "Alright, now I'll ask you a question, what's your favorite one?" You pondered this question for a moment.

"Well," you finally responded. "I'm quite fond of (condiment that is not ketchup)."  
"Seriously," he asked. "Wow, (Y/N), you really need to _ketchup_ _._ You need to know which condiment is best." He flashed you a grin. "Yeah," you said. "I kno- WAIT! Did you just say ketchup?" You snickered a little bit at the bad pun. "Maybe," he shrugged and grinned.

You hesitated before saying, "Well, that pun was _cheesy._ " Then you wiggled your eyebrows. "Ehhhh?"

He snickered. "Kiddo, hate to break it to ya," he began. "But thats _nacho_ joke! I made it."

You frowned at him. "Sans," you said. "Thats not a condiment pun." "Well," he began. "You put cheese on nachos." You laughed as that was kind of cute.

"C'mon, you can make a _butter_ pun than that," you said to him.

"I'll _relish_ that idea," Sans replied.

"Stop being a _mustard,_ " You laughed because that was your worst one yet. **(PFFT I CAN'T EVEN I'M SORRY XD THAT WAS REALLY BAD)**

"Alright," Sans said. "One more, then its my turn." "Okay," you said and thought for a moment.

"Sans," you began. "I'm starting to get sick of _olive_ your puns." You then grinned. "Just kidding!" "Wait what," Sans said. "Olive isn't a condiment." "Okay, but olive oil is, so close enough." You smile.

"Alright, now its my turn kiddo," He said. " _Mayo_ be mine?"

You laughed. Sans blushed blue in embarrassment of the fear of being rejected. His pun wasn't _THAT_ funny was it?

"Okay," you started once you stopped laughing. "One, your grammar sucks, it's 'will you be mine,'. Two, that joke was _corny_ af. Three... yes." you blushed lightly at the last part.

"Corny," Sans asked. "That's not a condiment pun." "Well," you said. "You said nacho because of the cheese... so I said corny because of popcorn and people put butter and olive oil on popcorn." You smiled contempt with your answer.

"Your such a dork, (Y/N)," Sans said. "You need to take a lesson from the master of puns."  
"YOU IDIOT," you said in your best Flowey impression. "I just told you yes." You looked down and blushed slightly.  
"To the mayo thing," Sans asked with slight confusion in his voice.  
"Y-Yeah," you said. "I think...I love you, Sans." You blushed.  
He blushed when he heard that and he hugged you, putting his head in the crook of your neck.  
"I love you too, (Y/N)."

* * *

 **EXTENDED ENDING  
**

* * *

You were cuddling on the couch with Sans watching TV when suddenly...  
"I'M HOME~"  
"Oh, hey bro."  
"GREETINGS HUMAN."  
"Hiya, Papyrus!"  
"SANS, DID YOU TELL THE HUMAN ABOUT-"  
"Shhh, yes, I did."  
"FINALLY, YOUR TRUE FEELINGS HAVE BEEN REVEALED."  
You hit Sans with a nearby pillow.  
"HE KNEW," you shrieked.  
"Maybe..." Sans replied.  
"WELL, I'M OFF TO COOK SPAGHETTI," Papyrus announced as he made his way into the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator and...  
"SANS!"  
"What?"  
"WHY IS THE FRIDGE FILLED WITH CONDIMENTS?"  
"I dunno."  
"SANS!"  
"What?"  
"REMOVE THEM RIGHT NOW."  
"Nah, sorry bro."  
"WHY."  
"Because I'll need them for later, minus the 'ents'."  
You gasped.  
"Oh my god," you exclaimed hitting Sans with the pillow. "Shut up."  
Papyrus was confused, but continued to make his spaghetti.

* * *

 **Oreo: FROM ZERO TO A HUNDRED REAL QUICK. Alright, well I hope you enjoyed that and I'm sorry its so short! If you liked this I am happy to take more Undertale requests during the summer! I hope this will hold you off until then... 18 more days of school left guys! Oh my god! I'm so stoked! So, uh, follow me if you want, I'll keep you guys posted because in the summer, get ready for a rapid fire of ALL TYPES OF FANFICS! I love you guys so much! Mwah~! Have a superior day/night~!**

*FEEL FREE TO REQUEST STORIES, COMMENT [I'M OPEN TO CRITICISM.], AND FOLLOW!*

* * *

 _ **OREO OUT!**_  
 _#BaiFelicia_


End file.
